Shinji: The Quest for Pussy: Part 2

The Black Knight
:Outside the school, Shinji is dealing with a unexpected situation as best he can:
Shinji: Who where What!?!?!
Ashram: I am the Black Knight of Marmo, Ashram, and this is my comely companion Poritess.
Poritess: Yo.
Shinji (gawking): Damn!
Ashram: Indeed! Notice the firm ass, supple breast, cute, pointy ears, and...
Poritess (lifting her skirt): Don't forget I'm freshly shaved as well, sire.
Shinji: Wow! ...um, why is there a lit firecracker in her....
Ashram (tossing firecracker away): Ignore that. (firecracker explodes off camera)
Off camera voice: AAGGGHHH! My eyes!!!
Ashram: Now, boy, it is time for you to learn to gets the hotties, the Ashram way!
Shinji: Do I have to grow my hair out?
Ashram: That will come with time. For now, we must address the immediate concerns. First, your posture. Straighten up! You must show that you are indeed the pimp with the way you carry yourself!
Shinji (puffing out his chest): Like this?
Ashram: No, much less gay than that.
Kaoru: Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Ashram: There is in my army, white-hair! Now haul off!
Kaoru: Humph! Well, Shinji, I'll see you later. I don't wanta hafta open a can of third impact on your buddy! (storms off camera)
Ashram: Second, keep the bleach job fags a good distance away.
Groder: My lord.
Ashram: I told you twenty paces, Groder!
Groder: Yes, lord Ashram. (walks off)
Shinji: What else, sir?
Ashram: Search for that hottie that you were always afraid to approach. Be confident, know no fear. You have everything you truly need in your heart. Go forth, Shinji Ikari!
Shinji: I-I will! I can do this! (begins off toward the school)
Ashram: One more thing. (Shinji turns) I believe in you.
:Shinji salutes, and Ashram does as well. After several moments, Shinji, with tears of respect and admiration in his eyes, turns to face his destiny:
Ashram (once Shinji is away): That poor bitch. I shouldn't have come here, that guy is hopeless.
Poritess: Are you sure, my lord?
Ashram: Did you get a good look at him? Well, I guess we should be heading off.
Poritess: So.... wanna screw?
Ashram: Would I have to remove my armor?
Poritess: Would I have to remove the fireworks?
Ashram: (sigh) Very well, but I insist on wearing my cape.
Poritess: I'd have it no other way, my lord.
Groder: Shall I assist you with you're armor, Lord Ashram?
Ashram: No, and don't make me bump you back to twenty-five paces.
:Shinji is running down the halls of the school:
Shinji: Gotta fulfill destiny.... gonna get laid.....
Narrator: Facing impossible odds, can Shinji overcome the fact that he is a sissified dickless mama's boy? Or will he, as usual, go home to use one of Misato's old pantyhose in a very, very bad way? Find out next episode, "What shit? Shinji tries to gets some?"

My toy period

Just thought I'd upload some of my fav pics from my short /toy/ days. I'd probably still be real into it if the stuff wasn't so damn expensive. 8 bucks for a G.I.Joe? Naw, no thanks.

In the grim darkness of Hyrule...

Someone on /tg/ asked for a pic of Ganon is a Chaos marine... a mere marine! The guy is the GREAT KING OF EVIL!

Not the best photoshop ever, but I put moderate effort into it, and it pleases me.

Crazy GBA sticker... yeah, this will come in handy again.

Well, I had a period of time where I wasted alot of my days customizing things by slapping stickers on them. My old GBA received this treatment, in the above sticker. Why, you may ask, was a sticker for a game that DID NOT have a GBA version made and then applied to said GBA? Just fucking cause, yo. Just fucking cause.

If you really need to fancy up your GBA, make sure to size it right before printing on your sticker paper. I think I printed mine at about 48%, give or take.

(What is the hole in Taki's head for? I had a sticker there, that I didn't want to cover. Yeah, that's right.)

Shinji: The Quest for Pussy: Part 1

Chapter 1

:A quite day at school, classes are letting out, and the students are mostly at their lockers:
Shinji: There she is! (The cute and quiet Lain is at her locker ahead) I can do this! It's just like the guys said...
:flashback to earlier that day in class. Touji and Kensuke are talking to Shinji, in a friendly manner:
Touji: You DAMN PUSSY!!!
Kensuke: It is pretty gay of you, Shinji.
Touji: That and I got these kick ass illegal fireworks!
Kensuke: damn, your a hick.....
Touji: (raising fist) What was that you FOUR-EYED FAGGOT!?!
Kensuke: Nothing, nothing! Just saying, Shinji, needs to grow some balls!
Touji: That's right, all Shinji needs is to grow a pair of hairy balls!
Shinji: Umm.....
Touji and Kensuke: Damn it, Shinji!!! Grow a pair! Grow a pair!
:Back to present time:
Shinji (flexing hand): Grow a pair! Grow a pair! (clenching fist) GROW A PAIR!!!
:storms off toward Lain:
Lita (pointing at Bunny's head): But she already did!
Bunny: HEY!
:Lain is finishing at her locker when Shinji approaches:
Shinji: H-hey, Lain...
:Lain looks at him:
Shinji (thinking): She's giving me a funny look. That's okay, Asuka does it all the time. (out loud) I was wondering if you wanted to...
:Lain is still looking:
Shinji (thinking): Wow, she's looking into my soul. Um, Well, it's no worse than what Rei does. (out loud) ...wanted to maybe go out some....
:Lain still is looking:
Shinji (thinking): What the HELL!?! She's looking deeper! How can she look deeper than.... (Out loud and grabbing sides of his head) DON'T LOOK PAST MY SOUL!!! NOOOOOOOO!!! DON'T LOOK PAST MY SOUL!!! (runs screaming incoherently down the hall, and out the door)
Lain: ................... I'd love to.
:Outside, Shinji is panting and looking at the sky, contemplating life calmly:
Shinji: I am such a PUSSY!!! Touji was right, I am a sissified, dickless mama's boy!
Voice from off camera: Not for long, young one!
Shinji: Who the fuck???
Ashram: It is I, Ashram, and I am here to show you how to be a pimp-daddy like me!

A post just so I can get ads that are interesting to people like me.

I know few will ever look at this place, and less will look at the ads, but I figure they should at least be good when the ads start. So I'll just list buzzwords of things I like and see how it goes.

Anime
Comics
Videogames
Ninjas
Warhammer 40,000
Roleplaying Games
D&D

This is also a good way for me to list some of the non project specific labels I'll probably be using from here on out. I know, boring post, but at least I got a random pic in there too!

Shinji: The Quest for Pussy Prologue

Prologue

:A bar on the outskirts of town:
3d Lotor: So than I crawl into Janet's bed, and have my way with the sweet little lass. Fresh out of that, it was only fitting to sneak into Brad's room down the hall...
Ashram (slamming his mug down): ENOUGH! I will not listen your painful and deprived stories any longer! I challenge you to a duel.
3d Lotor: HA! You want a piece of me! I don't think you noticed the bionic arm and the eyes that have seen hell! You have no ide*
:A well placed bitch slap sends 3D Lothar sprawling:
Ashram: No, but the mouth that uses Tim Curry's voice was all I needed to know. Now, shut it, or face me.
3D Lotor: Haggar! To my aid, witch!
Haggar: Damn it all Lotor, I was about to seduce that young boy with my magic!
Kensuke: I knew there was a reason why that old bitch was pouring lambs blood in my hair! That does it, no more sneaking in to bars at lunch!
Ashram: Poritess! Come!
Poritess: Yes my lord? Shall I deal with this old woman for you?
Ashram: No, merely stand and look curvaceous. Let 3d Lotor compare his companion, to mine.
3D Lotor (fuming): That does it!!! Let's take this outside!
Ashram: Poritess, wait for me here.
Lotor: Haggar, come with me!
:outside:
Ashram (chugging vodka): Well, 3D Lotor (chug) are going to flee yet?
3d Lotor: Ha! Do you think you can make yourself stronger by getting drunk? Or use some Drunken sword technique to get the shake out of your swing? Tell me how that will improve your swordsmanship?
Ashram: (chug) It won't. In fact, it makes me fight like shit. (chug) But I figure you have time to beg forgiveness if my timing is off. (chug) It only seems fair.
3d Lotor: You'll regret that, you arrogant fool!!! NOW!!!
:At 3d Lotor's command, his ship, the Revenge, rises above the trees:
3d Lotor: Alright, now let the Doom Cannons ™ teach this Black Knight some humility!
Ugly ass alien #1: Okay boss man! Er go... oh oh!
Ugly ass alien #2: What is it?
UAA #1: The ship over anything other than a boring landscape or static space wallpaper is too much for the system to handle!
UAA #2: Our low budget CG betrays us again!
UAA #1: Looks like us Ugly Asses are blasting off again!!!
:The revenge begins to crash:
Toji: Yo, Kensuke! I got some fire crackers, wanna light them and swallow em to see what ha*
:Revenge lands right on the poor fucker:
Haggar: Urge to... say line.... can't resist....
Kensuke: Oh my GAWD, They killed Toji!!! (Haggar gasp in relief)
Dark Shnieder: You Bastards!!! Haha, always wanted to say that! See ya next week buddy!
Ashram: See ya
Toji: FuuuuuCKinG SHIIIIIT!!!!
Kensuke: Toji!!!! Your Okay!!!!
Toji: You need better glasses, dumbass!!! I'm partially crushed by a crappy 3D spaceship, I wouldn't call that "okay!!!"
3D Lotor: Damn it all! Haggar! Summon a Robeast!!!
Haggar: Haggar summon a Robeast, Haggar get me a beer, Haggar bath every once in a while.... damn your a picky bitch!
:A giant Robeast arises from.... where ever Robeast rise from, and charges Ashram:
Ashram: You leave me no choice. (Grabs sword hilt) FORM BLAZING SWORD!!! (draws the Deamon Sword SoulCrusher)
Robeast: ???
Ashram: Just kidding :) (lops off the Robeast's head) One head...
Haggar: Oh Shi*
Ashram: Two heads...
3D Lotor: I quiver in anticipa*

Hey, everyone! This is your friendly parody fanfic writer! How's it going, enjoying yourself so far? Well, let me pour you so tea and get you a bis... huh? Oh yeah, the story!!!

Kensuke: ...tion?
Ashram: Opps! Knew I should have stopped at three...
Toji: I saw that!!! I'm telling everyone you ACCIDENTLY killed Kensuke! Then everyone will see how lame you are!!!
Poritess: Hey, kid, want to help me get something out from between my legs?
Toji: Awww, damn, why now, when my arms are pinned by smoldering debris!
Poritess: Don't worry, you can use your lips... (squats down on Toji's face. After a while Poritess rises) Good job, you got it out.
Toji (with the thing between his teeth): Antiiee maaa! Hey, hisss isss a firecca* (toji's head explodes)
Ashram: You had put a live firecracker in there?
Poritess: What can I say, I like having a dangerous stick that could blow anytime in me.
Ashram: ...Your so damn hot, I'll look past how fucked up that was.
Poritess: What now, my lord?
Ashram: to the school, I sense a disturbance in the force! But first, I'm going to duck behind a tree, that vodka wants to be set free again, and I think its best to let it sail.
Poritess: ...Your so damn hot, I'll look past how fucked up that was.

I am a nutbar, and this is my corner.

Okay, first post on the new blog. Basically, any public projects I am working on will be discussed here, as much for my own benefit as anyone who stumbles upon it. So comic ideas, homebrew games, character designs, fanworks, and personal projects I like showing off. That sorta thing. Hopefully it won't be too boring, though I can't promise it won't be disturbing, crude or offensive at times. Deal with it though. You're on the internet now.