Shinji: The Quest for Pussy: Part 1

Chapter 1

:A quite day at school, classes are letting out, and the students are mostly at their lockers:
Shinji: There she is! (The cute and quiet Lain is at her locker ahead) I can do this! It's just like the guys said...
:flashback to earlier that day in class. Touji and Kensuke are talking to Shinji, in a friendly manner:
Touji: You DAMN PUSSY!!!
Kensuke: It is pretty gay of you, Shinji.
Touji: That and I got these kick ass illegal fireworks!
Kensuke: damn, your a hick.....
Touji: (raising fist) What was that you FOUR-EYED FAGGOT!?!
Kensuke: Nothing, nothing! Just saying, Shinji, needs to grow some balls!
Touji: That's right, all Shinji needs is to grow a pair of hairy balls!
Shinji: Umm.....
Touji and Kensuke: Damn it, Shinji!!! Grow a pair! Grow a pair!
:Back to present time:
Shinji (flexing hand): Grow a pair! Grow a pair! (clenching fist) GROW A PAIR!!!
:storms off toward Lain:
Lita (pointing at Bunny's head): But she already did!
Bunny: HEY!
:Lain is finishing at her locker when Shinji approaches:
Shinji: H-hey, Lain...
:Lain looks at him:
Shinji (thinking): She's giving me a funny look. That's okay, Asuka does it all the time. (out loud) I was wondering if you wanted to...
:Lain is still looking:
Shinji (thinking): Wow, she's looking into my soul. Um, Well, it's no worse than what Rei does. (out loud) ...wanted to maybe go out some....
:Lain still is looking:
Shinji (thinking): What the HELL!?! She's looking deeper! How can she look deeper than.... (Out loud and grabbing sides of his head) DON'T LOOK PAST MY SOUL!!! NOOOOOOOO!!! DON'T LOOK PAST MY SOUL!!! (runs screaming incoherently down the hall, and out the door)
Lain: ................... I'd love to.
:Outside, Shinji is panting and looking at the sky, contemplating life calmly:
Shinji: I am such a PUSSY!!! Touji was right, I am a sissified, dickless mama's boy!
Voice from off camera: Not for long, young one!
Shinji: Who the fuck???
Ashram: It is I, Ashram, and I am here to show you how to be a pimp-daddy like me!